Tuesday 21 September 2010

Hello World!

It is an extraordinary thought that this time next week I shall be in Malawi.  Despite the fact that I have been packing and planning, saying goodbye to people and generally preparing myself for what seems like months.  Today there are two things uppermost in my mind.  The first is that I feel rotten, being in the middle of an allergic reaction to something, possibly the rabies injection, possibly the anti malarial medication, possibly something quite other, and therefore am feeling extremely unattractive, with an angry rash, swollen eyes and considerable lethargy!  Secondly I am wondering what on earth I have done, committing myself to 18 months in Malawi to train Early Years workers for a new Children's Centre in Blantyre.  I am excited too of course, but today the dominant feeling is fear!  I am afraid that I will not be up to the job, I am afraid that I shall have trouble coping with the heat , I am afraid that I shall be lonely so far from my family and friends.  I am afraid of tropical diseases, even though I feel like a pin cushion after all the innoculations, I am a bit concerned about snakes and spiders, but mostly I am afraid that no one will love me in that strange and different place about which I know so little, half way across the world!!!   This morning I stretched a toe out from under the covers to twitch the curtain away to see what kind of day it was (very grey and damp!) and saw a family of long-tailed tits chasing each other in and out of the branches of the yew tree just outside my window, and I wondered what creatures I shall be looking out at next week.  I have said many farewells over the last few weeks and this is very new to me.  In my life I have not usually been the person who has gone off for adventures, much more likely to find myself as the one who stays behind and keeps the domestic arrangements jogging along.  I suppose I feel that at 55 if I don't do something different now, I probably never shall, so this is going to be it!  Tomorrow there is to be a party with all my friends in Norwich and then there will be only three more days at home, then a couple more in London, and then.... I fly!